In response to the recent development in the Niger Delta region of Nigeria, I hereby apply for the unadvertised position of a KIDNAPPER in your highly infamous organization of Militia Force.
Listed below are my abilities and qualifications;
Ø Extremely violent behavior
Ø Ability to brandish weapons like guns and machetes
Ø Ability to identify children of foreign nationality less than 3 years of age seated in a jeep.
Ø Ability to break car windows with gun butts
Experience gathered include but are not limited to the following:
Ø Born and grew up under the bridge in Lagos.
Ø Trainee Agbero AKA Area Boy for one year at Mile 2, Lagos.
Ø Customer service executive of Agbero Iyana Ipaja Lagos, 2 years.
Ø Personal assistant to Executive Director of Agbero Lagos and West 2 years
Professional Membership/ Affiliations:
Ø Member, Agbero Association, Lagos Chapter.
Ø Special Member, of the Ibadan thugs during the recent past election period
Ø Executive Director of Agbero, Lagos and west
Ø Tokyo, NURTW Chairman, Ibadan
Ø Godfather of Ibadan Thugs, Pa Adedibu.
Thank you, in anticipation of a favorable response.
Yours in Violence,
Moshood AKA Mortuary